I really need advice/help!?

Okay I'm feeling so depressed and finally my mom's managed to convince me my life is useless and just plain wrong. Why? It all started with me saying I'm staying home from school for the second day cuz I realy don't feel good I have a sore throat lost my voice my nose is stuffed up and i have a headache. She of course thinks its just me trying to get out of going to school so she goes off about how my year is starting off on the wrong track and how she was right when she once said that I'd end up trying to get out of school.





She was referring to last year when I was severely depressed for a few months and just gave up on everything basically. This year I thought I was off to a good start until this happened. She's managed to convince me I'm doing everything wrong and just trying to avoid life. I'm dropping french class and taking a dif. course. She thinks its just because I don't want to talk to people in french so I'm taking the easy way out. She doesn't believe me when I say social anxiety is ruining my life and refused to let me see a psychiatrist.





Right now she's really really really pissed off cuz I decided to stay home again..and I dread her coming home this afternoon. She's going to yell and shout and get mad and everything and just put me down even more. But by now I'm just convinced...I don't mean much to anybody.





And there is this problem: I'm not sure how my girlfriend takes to me being all 'depressed' and so negative all the time..she's already helped me through a lot and she's said it won't change her opinion of me but I mean, there's only so much a person can take, right? Now I'm scared if she found out exactly how badly I feel about myself she might just give up on me too...I don't want to lose her and I know i shouldn't be freaking out so much cuz its gotten me introuble before but i can't help it. What if she decides I'm just too messed up and too much of a depressed loser freak?





Lastly, I just don't see anything anyone could like about me...she must see something in me but what it is I don't know all I hear from my mom is how I'm so screwed up and how im just f****** over my life. I'm trying to ignore what my mom says and even if I don't see anything in myself, she does so I'm just trying to be the best I can and trying to make my girlfriend happy...but with the constant put downs coming from my mom iunno whats going to happen...and im scared.





i know thats a lot and most of it is pretty random but...i really need some help. I don't know who to talk to my dad has basically given up on me too..just keeps his mouth shut and says he's just going to let me make decisions in life whether they screw me up or not..ugh does anyone have any advice? I've become suicidal and cut for the past 6 months and nothing has changed...I really need advice/help!?
talk to your guidance counselor at school, or try calling and looking up psychologists or psychiatrists, some places will pay for low income people to get counseling. try looking for support groups or group therapy where you can talk. try prayer or meditation, that will help with anxiety, trust me i have used it. try excercising in the morning, it can be intense or long and steady, but it does make you feel better, it can even help keep u from getting sick. check out books from the library about depression and anxiety, it will help explain some of your feelings and how to deal. also start focusing on more positive th


ings and put your energy inthat. remember you get out what you put in, for instance if u want to go to college start planning and doing things that will help u go to the college of your choice and will help u enjoy school in a realistic way. when your mom is finished yelling, instead of moping fnd a really funny movie to lift your spirits, or if you can leave and find an activity that will make you happy. plan some fun events with your girfriend like flying kites going to see a funny movie swimming at a public pool. some public pools show movies while you lounge in the pool,or going to a carnival, or even just spending an evening looking up at the stars at night. that is relaxing and girls love things like that. she would love that you thought of that. try to put your energy or remaining energy into positive things, turn your mother's negative energy into positive enrgy. if you do this your mom and dad and gf may see ur effort and may have feel better knowing you are improving. i know about depression and put downs, i've been there and struggle with it but i hope you will do better. i think you will.I really need advice/help!?
It sounds like you are going through a lot.


I am so sorry to hear of your distress.


Here are some ideas which might help you.





1. Try Byron Katie. Her worksheets are on her website and her videos are on youtube.





2. If you get panic attacks, sign up for the free emails on the panicaway website.





3. Try reading Patrick Holford's ';Low GL diet'; - blood sugar imbalances can cause havoc with your body and symptoms include depression, mood swings, tiredness, drowsiness after eating, cravings for sweet foods, headaches, heart palpitations, anxiety, irritability, agrressive outbursts, crying spells, excessive sweating, dizziness and trembling.





4. Keep two journals. One for writing down all your feelings, this is really good for clearing out your anxieties and getting all your


war onto paper, you can delete it straight after if you need to, it's just good to really see your stressful thinking. And the other can be your gratitude journal - write down all the things you are grateful for that happened today.





5. Read ';Happiness is a Choice'; by Barry Neils Kauffman. Here is a link about a girl who was suicidal and came out of her depression. http://www.option.org/custom:single,595





6. Read ';The Four Agreements'; by Don Miguel Ruiz. He discusses what he calls the mitote - the thousand voices in your head that can cause so much fear and confusion in all of us. He teaches how to deal with these images, voices and fears.








Sending you so many hugs.


Love and understanding.








xxx
You need to get up off the couch, walk into a PrimaCare or some hospital and tell them exactly what you just said here. I did that same thing, and although those doctors are not licensed to treat you for that (at least not for long periods of time) they can and WILL. They gave me medication that very day and I walked out and was feeling like a new woman by about a week later.





Just don't tell them you're going to committ suicide or anything, or they will force you to stay there until someoene from a mental health facility comes and locks you up. You don't want that. Just tell him/her (the doc) you need help with depression.