Need relationship/communication advice? help?

Ok, my fiance and I are expecting our first baby in June. Don't get me wrong, we love each other to death, and know that we want to be together. But we have some serious communication issues, we realize this. But instead of taking the steps to fix it, we always just ignore the issues and nothing ever gets better.


I need some tips on how to communicate better with each other. We are both very stubborn. And we both have a tendency of taking a little fight and blowing it out of proportion by dragging in other un-resolved issues.


I want us to be able to be happy, and communicate. And I would really like to achieve this before the baby gets here. I know what we need to do, I just don't know how to go about it, thats where we need help.





We both also have major trust issues that need to be resolved, I think part of this with me is because I'm pregnant, so I'm afraid that he is going to leave me. I also HATE everyone he wants to be around, as far as guy friends go. contd---%26gt;Need relationship/communication advice? help?
Seems that you have issues that go deeper than just ';communication';. You may need to invest in 2 or 3 marriage counseling sessions. Every married couple should go at least once during their marriage. They usually cost about 30.00 for a 45 minute visit and they will be EXTREMELY beneficial. Much more helpful than you researching ways to communicate and then trying to ';get'; your husband to be up to speed with you. Good Luck!Need relationship/communication advice? help?
My thought is, your adults, it's close to impossible to change personality traits (stubbornness) - as they say a leopard can't change its spots - If working on communications together is not working amongst yourselves PLUS there's trust issues to boot, maybe seeking professional help is the answer... Adding a kid to the mix MAKES IT WORSE - trust me. Your focus is squarely on the newborn and you lose touch with each other...





Best of luck to both of you and congrats on the little bundle of joy coming soon
The most important step is one both of you seem to have taken - you both realize that you have a problem communicating with each other. That's great because it's not until both parties realize there is a problem that you can even start to work on fixing your problem. It really helps to have outside help of some sort - a professional counselor/therapist, priest, mediator. This person will serve as the mediator between the two of you and give both of you the opportunity to speak what is on your mind without being ridiculed or belittled by your partner. What's really important to both of you is that you lay your anxieties, fears %26amp; concerns out on the table and discuss them together.





If you can't afford a counselor or you want to try %26amp; work on this with your partner first, then sit down with him and have a heart to heart. Make sure that you have your thoughts in order before you start so that you don't leave anything out. But keep your mind open to what your partner is going to be saying also. Make sure that both of you allow the other to speak, and when the other person is speaking, listen to what is being said and don't start thinking of your response in your mind. Your first response should be to repeat whatever it was that he said so that you show him that you understand his concern. (And vice versa)





If you don't think that you can get thru this without professional help, then go find someone who has experience in couples therapy or marital counseling. IF you think you can handle it on your own, then try what I suggested above and have a heart to heart with him. If trying things on your own doesn't work then seek professional help. You are in a good place right now because both of you see a problem %26amp; realize that you want to fix things for the sake of your family, so don't give up on that.
try writing him a letter and make sure you put in it that you both have issues you need to talk about. You feel like you don't know how to say it out loud and you need to talk to him about things that are bothering you.And tell him you are not blaming him for anything ... hormones can a get the best of you. Also Tell him this is away that he can read a little at a time if he is feeling over whelmed. Make sure he knows that you understand his stress but that it is not healthy for your baby. And ALL SO TELL HIM THAT YOU REALLY LOVE HIM ALOT!!
reading your post was like looking back on the past year of my life!! my fiance and i got pregnant 11 months before our baby was due...we both had major communication skills and were fightinhg all the time, same as you, we both loved eachother and knew we wanted to be together, but we also knew it wouldnt work with these problems, we also had trust/jealousy issues with eachother and didnt know what to do ... we decided ot go to a pastor who was alos a marriage counselor (not like the counselors you see in movies) he basically took us through this 4 week course in which we had to come up with topics that ALWAYS caused us to fight, nad hten we had to take steps to learn how to work through them, it was not only helpful, but fun! the trust thing is something i struggle with a bit, but it ahs really gotten much better. we got married and 3 mnths later had our first son who means teh world to us. marriage is a heck of a lot of work, but being a family is amazing! i hope everything works for you !! good luck and congrats :)
the both of you are havig a baby soon trust issues should be the least of your problems. There is no point being in a relationship and you dont trust the other person. Having a baby is a beautiful thing and im sure hes happy that your having his baby theres no sense to cheat. Dont stress yourself out think positive. As far as you not liking his friends although you may think you come before them as much as he believes that as well hes probably trying to get as much ';chill '; time as he possibly can till the baby. Remember never leave a problem unresolved because it will come back up at another time into the relationship. find a new method of solving it though. when you feel urself getting mad walk away and when ur in more of a good mood talk it out. Remember even if you guys dont stay together hes going to be in your life forever because of the baby honestly try talking it out.'; you never know what will be your very last words to him so make it something good'; good luck
WOW your situation is exactly like mine. and i fee the samee way!! but sorry i have no advice for it. Im in the same thing though. Just hold on things will get better