I need some MAJOR advice help. Someone please help me?

Ok so i need some advice. I recently had an abortion 10/25/08, and i'm now having major regrets. I started prenantal care because me and my husband was going to keep the baby. However he's leaving to the Marine Corps Basic Training on Dec 8. I started to have doubts on keeping the baby due to me being a diabetic and probably being in the hospital throughtout my pregnancy since i was already hospitalize for a week during the pregnancy.





Well after that i decided it would be best to get an abortion since i'm only a 19 year old college student. and i figured having a baby at this point in of my life wouldn't be the best thing, since my husband will be leaving for 8 months including his MOS school.





But i'm just having a lot of regrets and there's times when i will just think about it and cry. I actually want to have a baby now, i felt my decision was selfish and i want my baby.





Can someone give me advice, and not critize me. I am human and make mistakes, although i know this was a huge one. I hate myself for getting that abortion. Please someone i really need some advice. thanksI need some MAJOR advice help. Someone please help me?
I'm so sorry you're going through all this pain. We all do things in life we wish we could take back but we can't. If it helps at all I know that a lot of women go through this after an abortion. I think you have to concentrate on the reasons you made that decision. They were valid reasons not to go through a pregnancy right now.





With your husband going away and your medical problems it would have been very difficult to go through all the complications by yourself. You need your college education so you will have a good career and can support your future children. With a problem pregnancy and then having a baby to take care of you would have probably ended up having to drop out.





Contact the Planned Parenthood or the office of the doctor who performed the abortion and ask for a referral to a support group. It would help to talk with other women who are feeling like you are right now.





I wish I had a magic wand to take your pain away. Try not to dwell in guilt. I wish you all the best and hope you find a way to make peace with this. You're in my prayers.


I need some MAJOR advice help. Someone please help me?
i have had an abortion i had the same feelings to but in time it gets easier. i was 25yrs old at the time and not in a good relationship so i did what i thought was best for me. now i am older and look back and have no regrets on what i did for me it was the right choice. i would not critizise any woman for any decision she would make its your choice.
sweetie you are going to get a ton of crap for this, Don't listen to any of them!! You need to get some counseling and figure out a way to get over this before trying for another baby. As for you military man this is off topic but thanks for serving our country! You will have a baby when the time is right but again just focus on healing your self.
Having regrets is normal. This was a huge decision and you will have regrets for the rest of your life over it. What's done is done and you cannot change it. Maybe you need to see a professional and talk this out and get your closure.
You are grieving. You wanted the abortion, but the impact of loosing a child hit you anyway. It's not uncommon. Let yourself grieve, realize it's natural. Get some counseling if you feel you need it.
You really need to talk to someone outside of the YA world. Talk to your ob and see if they can recommend a therapist. You need to try and deal with this situation first before you start trying to have a baby.
Please go see a counselor.





It will definately help to speak to an un-biased person.
This is a tough one. I could get into religion and prayer pretty heavy however I think you simply need to move on and say your prayers and forget the past. It's gone and cannot be brought back. Keep busy with your studies and don't tell anyone except very close family or friends you know you can absolutely confide in about it since it's so volatile. You've learned a lesson...now move on and live your life and find happiness again.
You're not alone in what you did, in fact I know girls who have had multiple abortions.





What's done is done and you made the best choice you could at the time. What will determine if it truly was the best is if you learn from this and do not put your self in a position to get pregnant again when you're not ready. And most importantly, do something with your life now!





Some of the rich elite look at us like the feral alley cats who make more feral alley kittens (who grow up and do same). They feel it is compassion to put the excess cat problem asleep if they can't sterilize them all, after all, with the hard economic times to come, so many will starve and spread disease.








Learn from what you did and don't repeat it. Its done and over so don't torture yourself too long. its normal to have regrets, but eventually move on and become somebody, know yourself.





Its just one of life's lessons, it's nice you have a conscience. My b/fs sister was a stripper who had many abortions and didn't give a hoot but she'd be the first to throw a rock from her glass house!
What you are dealing with right now, is GRIEF. Grief and loss are a very real emotion and takes time to work through. Give yourself time. Putting another baby into this right now, isn't a good idea.





Don't second guess yourself. When you first made your decision, you made it for good reasons. Doubting yourself now, is only making you crazy. Hold strong to your gut.





It will get easier. Maybe seek some peer counselling. Talking to someone will help you work through your grief.





Keep Well~
It's natural to have some regrets, but you can't dwell on it - there's nothing you can do to ';undo'; it, so learn from your mistake and move on.





I suggest you fight the urge to get pregnant again - all of the reasons you had to have this abortion are still there, and they are pretty solid reasons. You have your whole life ahead of you - look to the future and not to the past. There's no ';baby'; to want anymore - it's long gone.





If I could offer one other piece of advice it would have been to not post this question here. The fanatics are a tough crowd and will eat you alive with judgmental statements and asinine comments.





Try to stop hating yourself for what you did - that's not going to change anything, and it's certainly not going to help you or your husband. You did what you thought was right. Nothing you can do will change that. Accept the decision you made and try to learn from it.
You can't change what you did and you did it for some good reasons..so don't make yourself sick over it because it won't change the outcome. All you can do is try again when you are in a better place in your life and you have your husband there for you in case you do have to be hospitalized etc. Try to manage your health and maybe see a Dr. and discuss the whole thing with them so when you are ready to try again..you will not have to choose abortion and you won't have any regrets. Abortion is a persons personal choice ..even if people have very strong views on this subject..its your body and you did what you thought was best at the time. Like you said..everyone makes mistakes in their lives..nobody is perfect and you have to just come to a peaceful place with it all and know that you didn't do it for selfish reasons..you did it because it was not a good time and you are not healthy.. Hope you feel better
Wow that's a tough one. In life you have to deal with the consequences of your actions, even if you don't fully understand what those consequences are when you make your decisions. That's the reality we all have to cope with. That said we all make decisions we regret, especially at 19. You have your whole life ahead of you so there's plenty of time to come to terms with this, and over time you will make peace with yourself. But this will always be a part of who you are. Don't worry about other people judging your actions; it's how you view yourself that is important. And you are correct about one thing - you are human and this won't be the first decision you regret (although it's a big one...). Advice? Give yourself time to come to terms with this (it may take awhile), and most of all DON'T try and make up for it by trying to HAVE ANOTHER BABY until you get your head straight. Don't take this the wrong way, but you sound way too immature to be thinking about having kids. Although this is one experience that will help you to mature / grow up I suspect... Good luck I hope things work out for you.
You have to FORGIVE yourself and ask God to forgive you and to help you forgive yourself! I understand you made a decision you regret but you can make it through this but you have to forgive yourself. Look up 1st John 1:9 it says if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgives of our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. God wants to forgive us but the hard part is forgiving ourselves. Please forgive yourself and don't hate yourself! Also don't make a rash decision and try to get pregnant again wait till you and your husband are more stable mentally and spiritually. Good Luck and God Bless You! And please I say this one more time PLEASE FORGIVE YOURSELF and don't allow ANYONE to condemn you!
Well i think what you did was wrong, but it is you and that is not for me to judge, but i think you should of kept the baby, well the only thing i could tell you right know is that you should try to get pregnate again before your husband leaves i mean if that is what you really want, but just don't hate yourself, I mean you do have the right to regret because that is normal but don't give up stay positive and this time think before you make your final choice