Much needed advice .....help?

Much needed advice please help......?


My husband made the mistake of cheating on me with a married woman while they were deployed in Iraq, I found out about it while he was over there, things have been extremly rocky since then, but they've gotton a little better with time, I was extremly hurt, and angry when I first found out, I even told him I didn't want him anymore, he acted as if he was so distraught, during the rest of the time he was away, I became interested in someone who I was honest about being married, we had been enjoying each others company, nothing sexual, My new friend hasn't been pressuring me about anything, at the end of my husbands tour he pleaded with me to be back at his duty station in another state to greet him with our two kids for his home coming, I did, my husband seems sincere i suppose about his mistake but I just can't seem to get the guy I had been kicking it with out of my head, what should I do?Much needed advice .....help?
YOU AND UR HUSBAND ARE BOTH ON SAME TRACK.U GOT ATTRACTED TO OTHER GUY TO TAKE A SORT OF REVENGE TOWARDS UR HUSBAND U IN FACT USED HIM NOW AS HE CAME BACK HE IS USELESS TO UMuch needed advice .....help?
Start by being honest. Hubby didn't make a ';mistake';. He deliberately cheated. That ain't any mistake. Now, IF you want to forgive him, fine. But, don't minimize his betrayal by calling it a mistake.
Stay with the father of your children....mistakes happen in life all the time... even you make them.... don't add more complications to your situation by making another one....sometimes its better the devil you know then the one you don't....





The guy was deployed to an extremely dangerous and stressful environment... ask yourself ...could you have held out if you were in that situation?





You are not in a dangerous life or death situation and yet you are thinking of going to bed with another guy??





C'mon, give your husband a break and work with him to make your relationship a happy family for all of you, and see your kids grow up to be loyal and well adjusted individuals with high integrity....
you are doubting your relationship and only can know if it is worth saving
He didn't make a ';mistake.'; He knowingly knew what he was doing. Dum his cheating *** and find yourself a man that knows how to honor his wedding vows. And as for your ';friend'; he isn't the one for you either.
You both made mistakes here. Why can't you both forgive and forget and move on in your lives together? Your husband didn't have to tell you what he did but he told you anyway. Did you tell him about your special guy? I bet you didn't. I suggest that you two kiss and make up and live happily ever after.
Two wrongs don't make it right, as you found out. Put your head back in the game of being a wife and mother. It's hard enough for a family to be split up during a deployment, but to split up a family . . . your kids need both parents right now. Don't be selfish, you've got to think of it this way, what guy would be messing around with a married woman whose husband is deployed, not a very nice one . . .
To be honest, your situation is not that uncommon in the military world. That doesn't mean it's right for you to pursue anything with a married man. I think you'll find as time passes that the affair your husband had during deployment will rear it's ugly head in your mind alot in coming years. Having an affair with this other guy won't make that any better for you.


You need to ask yourself afew questions.


1. Can you live with the fact your husband had a sexual relationship with another woman, even though he seems to regret it?


2. Does having an affair with a married man make you any better than the woman your husband slept with?


3. Given the circumstances of your husbands affair, can you understand that sometimes we do things that aren't in our nature due to emotional stress?
It is highly likely that he will do it again. For some unknown reason, men/women who are away from their wives/husbands and family think it is OK to fcuk around, thinking they won't get caught. Big mistake, they always get found out, and plead and beg for another chance. Then go away on deployment and do it all over again. Is this the life you want to live, the uncertainty of never 100% knowing that he want get into another woman's pants???





Maybe give him a chance to prove he can be trusted, but you shouldn'h be having sex with him until he has a medical exam, and he is clear of all STD's and aides, just to be on the safe side.





He is sincere because he got caught with his pants down! It will take a long time to rebuild the trust and respect he has taken from you.





Good luck in the future and be happy which ever way you go.
Once a cheater, always one. If you have been a good wife to your husband, then his affair was unacceptable, period. His affair is a reflection of his basic, lying, cheating personality and that will never change, no matter what B.S. excuse he gives you. My advice to you: File for divorce.